My story
I am not sharing my story to invite a pity party or paint myself in a ‘healed’ light. I share it because showing up honestly is the same thing that I encourage you to do in the therapy space. Vulnerability is courage in disguise and I am a human too.
I was born in the UK and grew up in Colchester, Essex.
My parents gave me an animal encyclopaedia on my first day of primary school, written inside: “Always do your best! Lots of love Mummy & Daddy xxx”. I enjoyed reading, writing and creating. I was frequently described as ‘SO mature’ and ‘shy’; things I can now recognise as being overly-responsible and deeply feeling & sensitive.
Growing up I was viewed as ‘different’. My hair wasn’t long and flowy like the “girly-girls”, I drew Pokémon with great precision and pretended to be a cat on the daily with my then-best friend. When I was around six, a lot of things dramatically changed in my family and as a consequence, nowadays, true connection and love are at the absolute core of my values as a human being hence the way I work in the therapy space.
As a teenager, my life compass was twiddling all over the place and I was never sure about what I wanted or ‘where’ I wanted to go. Always being interested in psychology in general, emotions and the weird behaviours & intricacies of humans, I decided to take my studies of Psychology from college into university. I hated it and dropped out. There was also a spate of unhealthy relationships, depression and general despair.
Mid-twenties, a hospitality job in the city, I am overworked (understatement), physically in pain as well as mentally, lonely and yup, you guessed it.. still feeling lost.
Enter: Covid-19. Global pandemic. During lockdown, in a very deep and very dark hole, my now-husband encouraged me relentlessly to study online. Psychology & Counselling.. an advanced diploma that they estimate to take just over six months, spanned years.. for very valid reasons.
Moving from flat to house to flat, applying for what felt like a bazillion jobs and feeling exhausted, disbelief hits as I am told (insistently and several times over), your Mum is not well. You need to come home now.
So, the world doesn’t stop turning..
Everything happened very quickly and very slowly all at the same time. After tests upon tests and lots of waiting and incorrect diagnoses, within four months, my Mum died from what they found to be an aggressive stomach cancer that had metastasised to just about everywhere.
My soul, my heart was in pieces. I felt I would not survive. Not a joke. I am forever grateful for the influx of love, support and care from my Dad, my husband and my family.
The following year, myself and my family were informed about a hereditary cancer-causing genetic mutation called CDH1 which means high risk of breast cancer and stomach cancer (when I say high risk, I am talking 80%). As a preventative measure, I had my stomach removed completely and literally three months later, moved abroad with my husband!
Prioritising my health, inside and out, living in the sunshine and closer to nature - specifically the beach and mountains - studying and making big choices to enrich my life and my purpose has been a wild ride. Accountability and responsibility will do that. My experiences have forced me to wake up, in the most powerful and literal way, practice gratitude and embrace a zest for life and support others to find their path and their zest.
When I was asked “so.. do you want to become a counsellor?” the answer seemed simultaneously obvious and heavy. After the practical training, I was humbled to work with a variety of clients and also to engage in my own therapy where I opened up about my Mum “properly” to a person outside my circle for the first time. Scary and empowering.
And here we are, the present day. Let’s take a beat. Phew.
I can and want to support individuals, my learned and lived knowledge is real, deep and gritty. I promise you that, if you feel life is unbearable, you feel lost and it all feels pointless - I hear you. I get it. Sometimes you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Being a therapist allows connection, it allows me to encourage you to be the leader of your own life and to never stop learning and to find your light.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, it’s not simple to sum up a life. I truly look forward to hearing your story.